I Used to Be a Pissed Off Transphobe
In another life, I was a cis lesbian. It was a hard-fought identity label for me. I spent the majority of my life dating guys and I was pretty feminine for quite some time before longing to demonstrate my queerness more visibly. Other queer women dismissed me and questioned if I was even attracted to women. During this time, I read blogs and articles that centered queer women, and I inevitably came across the concept of trans women and transfeminine people.
And I was mad.
It was hard for me to fathom having some internal knowledge of one’s gender identity that wasn’t predicated on sex characteristics. Some trans women described their experience as feeling like they shared an indescribable energy or camaraderie with other women that clued them in to their identity.
What are they talking about? I thought with frustration. I don’t feel some sort of shared energy with other women. In fact, I always felt like another species. The only thing that tells me I’m a woman is my genitals! If I woke up tomorrow with another set of genitals, I would be a man just fine.
Enter future transmasculine me: Dude. How did you equate not understanding the idea of “feeling” like a woman with a reason to invalidate the existence of all trans women and transfeminine people? Doesn’t that say a lot more about you than anyone else?
