How Women Should Answer Work Emails
Women are held to different expectations in the workplace than the men they work beside. They balance on a fine line between being dismissed and belittled, or being seen as aggressive and bitchy. It’s a frustrating double standard that I know intimately, because I experienced it before I embraced life as a trans man. Contrary to “gender critical” ideas, I was not magically bequeathed with all of the trappings of male privilege the moment I realized I needed to transition. However, I do see how remnants of the ways I was socialized as a girl and woman now seem out of place as a man. I don’t communicate the way cis men often do.
Women (or AFAB people generally) often use a softer tone verbally and in writing. They are encouraged to anticipate how others feel, lest they be seen as insensitive, angry, or (god forbid!) selfish. This affects all communication in the workplace, including via email. Using exclamation points, smiley faces, and more casual language in emails communicates a gentle tone that mimics how women can hedge in verbal conversation. I still do this regularly, but thankfully, the seeming oddity is reduced since I am in a caring profession.
Articles like this Medium piece encourage women to “write emails like men.” But much like the concept of “self care” has replaced accountability for employers, turning the onus of changing the image of women…
