PinnedMember-onlyI Don't Give a Damn if You Don't Want to Be Called CisgenderTrans people have experiences that, until more recently, were not describable with existing language. Cisgender people who become angry with the label “cis” often declare with indignation that they did not give consent for someone else to label them. The complete lack of self awareness in this assertion would almost…Lgbtqia4 min readLgbtqia4 min read
PinnedMember-onlyWhat If You’re Not Actually Trans?How to cope with this terrifying question. — I came out as trans when I was 26 years old. I started hormones a few months later, and legally changed my name a few months after that. While I had many supportive people around me, it was still one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. …LGBTQ7 min readLGBTQ7 min read
Mar 21Member-onlyThe Lil Nas X Controversy is Ridiculous, Not TransphobicWe can’t afford to alienate allies. My fellow trans siblings. I have a message. Lil Nas X is not the enemy. In fact, he could not possibly be any further from being the enemy. On March 14th, Lil Nas X posted the tweet above, playfully noticing the resemblance that he…LGBTQ4 min readLGBTQ4 min read
Mar 5Member-onlyI Won’t Speak to a Single Cis Person Today…AgainMultiple times a month, I go an entire day without speaking to a single cis person. I am a therapist, and most of my clients are trans and/or nonbinary. Almost all of my friends are trans and/or nonbinary. I don’t talk to my cis mom every day, though I love…Transgender4 min readTransgender4 min read
Dec 19, 2022Member-onlyHow Women Should Answer Work EmailsWomen are held to different expectations in the workplace than the men they work beside. They balance on a fine line between being dismissed and belittled, or being seen as aggressive and bitchy. It’s a frustrating double standard that I know intimately, because I experienced it before I embraced life…Women4 min readWomen4 min read
Dec 8, 2022Member-onlyWhy I Stopped Using the Term “Chosen Family”Family is family. CW: References to bigotry, racism, sexism, queerphobia and xenophobia. Having been estranged from the majority of my extended biological, blood related family, I have come to build my own version of family. This is by no accident, and generally the way I prefer to experience my life…Family7 min readFamily7 min read
Oct 20, 2022Member-onlyTrans People Are Allowed to Feel HurtMy Medium posts do not allow responses. While I don’t rely on income from my stories to pay bills, I am still missing a valuable opportunity to increase engagement and the number of people who read my words by not allowing responses or conversations on my posts. However, my time…Transgender4 min readTransgender4 min read
Oct 14, 2022Member-onlyLGBT Friendly is Not Trans FriendlyClaiming to value queer customers and clients, whether out of genuine interest or purely for marketing purposes, has caught on and become incredibly common. Google reviews and Yelp allow businesses to tag their location or profile as “LGBT friendly,” and businesses that promote themselves as queer friendly are more profitable…LGBTQ5 min readLGBTQ5 min read
Sep 2, 2022Thank you for your input!1Paul John PolesI'm pretty stoked for this conversation so if you would like to discontinue it, let me know.I'm pretty stoked for this conversation so if you would like to discontinue it, let me know. It makes sense that you might explain things in a way that made sense to you so that trans people who are specifically *similar to you* could have things click. However, making definitive…5 min read5 min read
Published inPrism & Pen·Aug 3, 2022Member-onlyAs a Queer Person, I Hate Being Asked About My Own Self CareIt’s a struggle to be queer today, especially as someone who doesn’t know how to answer this query… — CW: Transphobic comments mentioned. The world is ever more discouraging for me as a queer person. The public political fights about abortion rights in the US has taken a sickening twist into everybody bashing trans and nonbinary (TGNB) people, regardless of which side of the issue they belong to. …LGBTQ5 min readLGBTQ5 min read
